Cloutier - 10 Feb 2005

I had stepped outside of my new office, here in Iraq, to admire the sunrise on a cool January morning, before beginning my workday. The sun seems to rise and set much quicker over here than in the United States and the sunrises over this desert are some of the most beautiful I have ever seen. As I was admiring the sunrise, I was thinking of my family back in Jackson, Tennessee. Six AM here would make it about nine PM back home; my wife would be getting my three small children ready for bed. I wondered how they were all doing; knowing that at times the going to bed routine can be anything but routine. I wondered what my children were thinking each night as they went to bed with me so far away, I knew that they probably didn�t understand it all now and I wondered if they ever would understand what I was doing. A deployed soldier misses his family always, but the responsibilities of our jobs keeps our thoughts elsewhere most of the time. It is in the quieter moments that it occurs to us how very far away we really are and how long it has been since we have seen our loved ones. Sometimes in these moments we question our decisions to be here in the first place. Most of us, myself included, are volunteers and believe completely in our mission here. But even for those of us who are fully committed there are these moments of doubt. I was missing my family tremendously and having one of those moments on this January morning.

I looked across the parking lot and saw a crew of Iraqis also beginning their workday. I saw one of them look my way and I waved a simple good morning wave to him. He gave me a very large smile and waved back at me. He then turned and said something to one of the other Iraq workers and then began hurriedly making his way towards me. He had his hand outstretched to shake mine while he was still 20 feet away; the extra large smile was still on his face. When he approached he shook my hand firmly as he said good morning to me in broken accented English. I returned the greeting and he told me his name was Rajeev and I told him that mine was Joe. He then went on to say that he had asked permission from his boss to come over and talk to me. He told me in his broken English that he wanted to thank me from the bottom of his heart for coming to Iraq to help his family. He told me that he loved America and loved what we were doing for Iraq. He said that since we had been there, for the first time in his life he had a good paying, steady job. He said that before we came here his family, a wife and three kids, had lived in poverty and he had been unable to provide for them. He said that one of his father�s brothers had been accused of some sort of plot against Sadam Hussein nearly twenty years ago and had been murdered by the dictator. Because of this the whole family had been made to suffer. He told me that his family had lived in an old bus for years and had gone days at a time without food and that there had been nothing he could do about it. He told me that he had several friends who had taken their own lives because of the same type of situation, but that he could not ever do that because somehow, although he had been raised a Muslim, he had found Jesus and he knew that suicide could not be an answer to his problems. He was talking a mile a minute and seemed so pleased that I was listening to him. He told me that since we had been there and he had gotten his �great job� that his family was living in a real house with running water and electricity. He said that he had been able to buy a car for the first time in his life and that he had bought some toys for his kids who he said had never had any. He then started asking me about my family and about where I lived in the US. I told him that I lived in the great state of Tennessee and that I also had a wife and three kids. When I said Tennessee, he said that he had seen pictures of the Great Smokey Mountains, he didn�t know anything else about Tennessee but he knew for sure those mountains were there. He asked if I had any pictures of my family. I took out my wallet and showed him a picture of my three children taken about a year ago. As he looked at my picture he began to shake. I didn�t know what to think was going on with him as he was looking at the ground. As I put my hand on his shoulder he looked up and it was then that I realized Rajeev was crying. Tears were flowing down his face. I put my arm completely around him and asked �What is wrong my friend are you alright?� It took him a few moments but then he began to speak again. I cannot believe he said, I cannot believe that you could leave behind such a beautiful family to come over here to help my country. People like you are truly angels and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I will pray for you and your family tonight and for the United States of America as I do every night. I then asked him if he had any pictures of his family. He pulled out of his pocket something that seemed to be no more than a folded piece of burlap. From this he pulled a very faded and old black and white picture of a woman and three kids standing in front of a tireless bus. It was at this moment that the other Iraq yelled something in Arabic to him and he said that he had to go. I only held his picture for a moment but I noticed that the woman and the children were all barefooted and were wearing what appeared to be rags, other than that, they were no different from my family back in Tennessee they were all smiling and there was a sparkle in all of the children�s eyes. I gave Rajeev a big hug and told him I wished the best for him and his countrymen and that I would also pray for him and his family. He thanked me even again before he walked away. As he left he turned and was walking backwards and throwing kisses with both hands and saying over and over again �thank you Joe, God bless America, thank you Joe, God bless America.

I will probably never see Rajeev again or meet his family, if I do happen to see him here on the base I will make a point to say hello to him, but weather I see him or not if I live to be 500 years old I will never forget my conversation with him on that cool January morning. The picture of his family is burned into my memory and the things that he told me I will never forget. And I can�t help but think; if his family appeared to be happy and full of hope when that picture was taken, what wonderful and joyous people they must be now. And I guess I should mention Rajeev�s job that he was so happy to have and did with such great pride was that of cleaning the restrooms here on the base.

Needless to say the moment of doubt and loneliness that I was having was over. I walked back into my office with a heart swelled with pride. Pride in myself for being a part of this, pride in my family for supporting me in this and pride in our great country for undertaking this mission. I knew in my heart as I walked back into the building that this mission is right, this mission is just, and without a doubt this mission will succeed .

SGT. Joseph R. Cloutier
194th Engineer Brigade (TA)
Tallil AB, Iraq
APO, AE 09331

SGT Joe Cloutier is a radio/satellite system operator in the S-3 section of the 194th Engineer Brigade (TA). He is a resident of Jackson, Tennessee.

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